A Hat For All Heads
by LeeEyeLa
Summary: The March Hare was having a very peculiar day, very peculiar indeed. While most days in Wonderland were quite odd, this one seemed to be the oddity in a land of oddities March Hare x Mad Hatter, Yes, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. No EXPLICITLY sexual content


This thread was inspired by some retard on Gaia forums who insisted that she could write a good sequel to Alice in Wonderland, simply because she was related to Lewis Carroll.

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**The March Hare** was having a very peculiar day, very peculiar indeed. While most days in Wonderland were quite odd, this one seemed to be the oddity in a land of oddities. The day had started like any other, the March Hare sitting up in his bed. Now, in Wonderland, it is only logic for one to wake up at the most logical part of the day- mid-afternoon.

You might hear this, and ask, "Why mid-afternoon?" Well, the answer to that is quite simple. If one were to wake up earlier, it would be too close to lunchtime. If one were to wake up later, it would be too close to dinnertime. However, for the March Hare, all the time was tea time. For this very reason, he liked to wake up in the morning.

On this morning, the March Hare was buttoning his overcoat when he realized that there were rain clouds in the sky. He proceeded to take off his overcoat, deciding that today, he would go to tea in the nude- so not to get his overcoat wet, of course.

The March Hare hobbled his way to tea time late this morning. He was late, because tea time was all the time; for that very same reason, when he left the night before, he was going home early. Because of this, the March Hare was quite rude.

As he approached the Mad Hatter's house, he noticed that the Hatter had a very peculiar look on his face. The Hatter was puzzled, as he leaned on the sleeping dormouse, and asked the Hare, "Why are you not wearing your overcoat this morning? It is about to rain."

The March Hare told him matter-of-factly, "Why would I wear my overcoat in the rain? I wouldn't want it to get wet, you know!"

The Mad Hatter nodded, seeing the truth in what he said. "Why don't you come down and have a bottle of wine?"

"Oh?" said the Hare, noticing there was no wine on the table, "Shall I go and get some?"

"No, no!" the Mad Hatter answered, "It is tea time, so come and drink the tea. Don't trouble yourself with getting the wine." And so he did, and he didn't.

As they drank their tea, the March Hare commented, "It is quite cold when I'm not wearing my overcoat."

"Cold?" the Mad Hatter asked, "Why wouldn't Cold be wearing his overcoat?" As he spoke, the tea was spilling from all sides of his cup. The idea of his friend, Cold, not wearing his overcoat made him distressed.

"Perhaps it was about to rain," the March Hare replied, "But come to think of it, Cold never wears an overcoat at all." He proceeded to butter his toast with marmalade. Afterwards, he marmaladed his toast with butter, which was a much more difficult task.

"Well," the Hatter remarked, "If Cold didn't want his overcoat wet, I wouldn't mind. However, because you do not want your overcoat wet, I am quite pleased today."

The March Hare was puzzled by this, but ignored it. He asked the Hatter, "My head is quite cold. Do you think you have a hat for it?"

"Why, of course!" the Mad Hatter exclaimed, "I have a hat for heads of all shapes and sizes! Give me a head, and I will give you a hat."

The Hare continued, "Do you have a hat for even the smallest of heads?"

"My friend," the Hatter assured him, "I have a hat for the largest of small heads."

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare sat at the table for quite a long time, saying nothing, as the sound of the Dormouse's quiet snoring was all that they could hear. They did not touch their tea, but simply stared intently at each other. Finally, after the extended pause, the Hare declared, "Riddle time!"

"Riddle time!" the Hatter repeated, "Riddle time!"

The March Hare grinned, and recited the riddle for his friend, "What is the difference between one head and another?"

The Mad Hatter smiled, knowing the answer immediately. "One head has a mouth, and the other goes in one!"

And so, the two friends rose from the table, leaving the Dormouse to sleep in peace, and proceeded into the Mad Hatter's home. Both of them were quite rude, as they had left tea time early- tea time, of course, was all the time. However, they must have still been hungry when they left tea time. Sure enough, when they entered the Mad Hatter's home, the Hare ate very greedily.

He ate very greedily, indeed.


End file.
